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<\/a>\nIt can be hard to not give a shit. It\u2019s something you have to practice. It should be a celebrated life skill that we teach children, alongside math, shoe-tying and talking to strangers.<\/p>\n
The other day I was out running and someone yelled at me from a passing pickup truck. I think he called me a pansy (or maybe a Nancy?) It startled me, and I might have even jumped a bit. They probably laughed or high-fived each other or whatever those kinds of douchebags do after a successful drive-by shouting.<\/p>\n
There have been times in my life when I would have spent quite a bit of energy giving a shit about a minor injustice like this. But I felt pretty unstoppable that day, and it didn\u2019t do much to me. I still felt the initial surge of adrenaline and anger, but decided that I would let this 5-second event just go on by, instead of investing in an afternoon-long internal protest, which I would probably feel a need to tell everyone about later.<\/p>\n
I kept running, and noticed that only seconds later the street was quiet and peaceful again. There was absolutely no trace of what happened, because I didn\u2019t keep it alive in my head by giving a shit.<\/p>\n
I have known people who will tell stories, repeatedly, about some unpleasant twenty-second interaction that happened to them years ago, and which they evidently never stopped giving a shit about. I\u2019m sure you have witnessed this too. Don\u2019t fall for this madness. As a general policy, don\u2019t give a shit.<\/p>\n
Knowing how to not give a shit doesn\u2019t mean you never give a shit about anything. It just means that when you give a shit, it\u2019s voluntary. You have a reason.<\/p>\n
The key to not giving a shit is knowing what the rising temptation to give a shit feels like. It always starts with angry or indignant words in your head, often in the form of a clever comeback or an internal sermon about respect and decency.<\/p>\n
You may start playing out different scenarios in your head where you show the offender who\u2019s boss in some way. Maybe you slip into a revenge fantasy where (for example) you run after the vehicle like the T-1000, and they end up driving into a tree, and you stand there and laugh with your hands on your hips.<\/p>\n
When you notice these kinds of thoughts arising, remind yourself that you don\u2019t give a shit about things like this, and invest your attention into the physical world again. What\u2019s the next event in your life, now that you\u2019ve moved on from the tiny, unfortunate event that just happened? Pay attention to what your body needs to do next, in order to move on to this next thing.<\/p>\n
Then pull the trigger. Dial that next call, run that next mile, mix those drinks, hop on that bike\u2026 whatever logically comes next in the life of a person who doesn\u2019t give a shit about petty things. If you\u2019re itching to give a shit, give a shit about that.<\/p>\n
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